The Myth of Church/Family Balance


I have heard this question forever in ministry, “how do I balance church and family?” It is as if there is some magical scale out there that can be had that creates smooth sailing for pastors and church leaders in their homes and their churches.

Let me be blunt. Balance does not exist. It is a myth.

I have been at this a lot of years and I can tell you that church and family are more of a tension to be managed than a balance to be had. It has to do more with the seasons in the life of each.

Here’s the way it looks:

1. Balancing Church and Family is Not 50/50.

I think some in ministry think they can put their family on one side of a scale and church on the other. They think they can give equal attention all the time to each. Not going to happen, nor should it. Think of church and family as major pieces of your life that ebb and flow with seasons of each.

2. Seasons of Church Priority.

There are times in the life of the church where it gets flat out hectic. Christmas and Easter come to mind. When those times come, it is important for the pastor to have set the stage properly with their family for that time. It will be very busy and everyone needs to remember … this season will pass.

3. Seasons of Family Priority.

You have times in your family where church takes a back seat. The wise and discerning pastor takes time for days off and seasonal vacations. They do not feel guilty about doing so. Who cares if you grow a great church and you lose your family. Prioritize wisely.

It is my prayer for you that your family and your church will be seen as a tension to be managed and not a balance to be had. When you do, you will find yourself well on your way to enjoying and flourishing in the seasons of the life of your family and your church.

[One way I’d like to help leaders is to offer a complimentary copy of my book, Right Turns, to any reader of this blog. Right Turns will help you make right decisions and do them RIGHT!]

The Hardy Group - Right Turns for Pastors in Church Ministry


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